.bring down the house.

Study Hall

Me: "Hey guys, why was 11 afraid of itself?"

6th grader 1: "I don't know."

Me: "Because 11/8/11"

6th grader 1: "I don't get it."

Me: "It was afraid of itself because it ate itself, but it is a play on words with today's date as well."

6th grader 1: "Oh, okay."

6th grader 2: "What did zero say to eight?...... Nice belt!"

(everyone laughs)

6th grader 3: "Oh Oh, what is three's worst nightmare?"

Me: "Okay, I'm sorry, but we have to start study hall. No more number jokes"

6th grader 4: "I have a joke about LeBron!"

6th grader 1: (earnestly) "I got to hear this!!"

Me: "Don't pressure me into listening to a LeBron James joke."

.facial hair.

Lunch Room

Me: "Guys, should I shave my beard into a mustache for Movember?"

6th graders: "Oh, yeah!"

6th grader 1: "You should shave it into a mustache and say, 'brother', a lot!"

6th grader 2: "Oh, yeah. (in a deep voice) Hey, Brother!"

.changes.

Lunch Room

8th grader enters the salad bar area looks at the salad bar and pauses for a moment.

8th grader: "Where are the hot (voice cracks) peppers?! Ahhhhh! (looks at me) That is the sixth time today. Four is my record."

.a fine how do you do.

Hallway

Me: "Good Morning!"

8th grader (arguably the toughest student in the grade): "Good morrow, my sweet prince!"

.soup is on.

Lunch Room

3rd grader: (after reading the soup menu) "Organic Carrot Soup?! What kind of place is this?!"

.reverse staring contest.

Homework Club

7th grader: "Have you ever had a reverse staring contest?"

Me: "No, what is that?"

7th grader: "It is when you close your eyes and the first person to open them loses."

Me: "Okay, I'll play."

7th grader: "Yes! Ready, Set, Go!"

(both of us close our eyes)

A solid 45 seconds of silence passes.

Me: "Did you open your eyes."

No answer

(I reach out my hands to see if they are still there. No one is there. I am left in the room by myself)

The student returns giggling to the point of not being able to stand up.

.theme party.

Homework Club

8th grader: "If I have a Bar Mitzvah I would only have Beach Balls, Bubble Wrap, and Toilet Paper."

Me: "That sounds awesome."

8th grader: "Yeah! Everyone would have to wear heels so the bubble wrap would pop!"

Me: "And the toilet paper?"

8th grader: (with a disgusted face) "To throw."

.party time.

Homework Club

7th grader: "I hate it when you are at a Bar Mitzvah and they say, 'Okay everyone, we are going to play the clean up game.' We all know it is a trick to get us to clean up."

8th grader: "Yeah! I know! They did that at my friends Bar Mitzvah. What a trickery-roo-rah."