making a list, checking it twice

As a line of 1st graders are walking by in the hallway....

6th grader: "Santa isn't real."

Me: "Hey, not cool. They could hear you."

6th grader: (whisper-yelling) "Santa isn't real."

It's the most wonderful time of the year....

In Science class discussing what we are brining to the holiday party tomorrow...

6th grader 1: "I am going to bring donuts tomorrow!"

6th grader 2: "I am bringing hot water for hot cocoa!"

6th grader 3: "I am going to bring a sac of pistols!"

6th grader 1: "I am bringing donuts."

Me: "This should be a fun holiday party."

6th grader 2: "I hope someone brings Swiss Miss."

the miracle of life..

lunch table

6th grader: "Mr. K, can you fire people here?"

Me: "No"

6th grader: "That's too bad"

Me: "Is there someone you want fired"

6th grader: "Yeah, this sub is super mean! She should be fired! She is taking over for a long time because our regular teacher is having a baby."

Me: "How long has your regular teacher been gone?"

6th grader: "She has been in labor for three weeks."

the land up north..

Lunch Table

Me: "You guys going anywhere for winter vacation?"

6th grader: "I'm going on a Wisconsication!"

with age comes wisdom

hallway

walking towards me

6th grader: (with hand in air signaling a high-five) "What up, Yoda!"

interrogation.....

Computer Lab

taking pictures of the Middle School computer lab teacher

7th grader: "When was the last time you saw Robert Frost?"

Teacher: "What?"

7th grader: "Look at me, I'm the maderatzzi"

name origin...

lunch table

6th grader: "Does 'Costco' mean big? Because all I wanted was one pack of AA batteries and I got 46."

I need a record deal...

lunch table

6th grader: "I didn't know you were a singer?"

Me: "Yeah, want a taste?"

(I begin to sing 'Happy Birthday' off key)

6th grader: "I don't want the whole meal."

best prank ever...

lunch table

6th grader: "One time we were on this trip and we were eating at Quizno's. (starts laughing hardily) We dared him to ask for a 'toasty torpedo'."

Me: "Why is that so funny?"

6th grader: (still laughing) "Because it sounds like a poop."

can't make it

at the end of 6th grade math class

6th grader (singing): "I'm going skiing this Saturday..."

other 6th grader (disappointed): "I have circus practice."

it is the most wonderful time of the year....

8th grade hallway

8th grade boy: "We are taking the CH out of Chanukah and the CH out of Christmas and making.....Christmas."

8th grade girl walking by: "Wait, what?!"

smells like....

surrounded by eight 6th grade girls who just put hand sanitizer on their hands.

6th grader: "Smell my hand. What does it smell like?"

Me: "Cinnamon?"

6th grader: "No, taco meet with cilantro......."

all the girls in unison: "IN A DOCTOR'S OFFICE!"

they disperse and go to music class.

swords of destiny part II

said to me the first 10 minutes of school

6th grader: "Mr. K, still waiting on your answer. If you join our people I will give you a samurai sword signed by Brad Pitt and another one signed by Randy Jackson."

get in line

7th grade lockers

7th grader: "I don't know her combo."

other 7th grader: "I know how we can make a conga line down to gym."

things to look forward to...

at the lunch table

6th grader: "wanna hear something crazy, in exactly 366 days I will be having my Bar Mitzvah party."

swords of destiny

said to me the last 10 minutes of school

6th grader: "If you join our people, I will give you a samurai sword signed by Brad Pitt."

the snitch

8th grade locker hallway

8th grader: (in a disappointed voice) "She told everyone who the killer was."

in the right place?

walking in late to study hall

6th grader: (whispering) "Am I suppose to be here? (whisper yell) BECAUSE I AM!"

new look

(day after I got a haircut)

6th grader: "Mr. K, you got a beard cut and a head shave."

when a boy becomes a man

8th grader: "His Bar Mitzvah was awesome, I got my grind on."

I didn't mean to.......

Me: "Is your shirt inside out?"

6th grader: "Yeah, it was a freak accident."

looking old for his age

with beads of sweat on his upper lip...

6th grader: "A 5th grader came up to me and said, 'you have a mustache'."

star struck

on a monday after a long weekend.

6th grader: "I saw a 10 year old actress in L.A."

Me: "Dakota Fanning?"

6th grader: "She's not 10 years old. It was Abigail Breslin."

Me: "Right"

Pizza. Pizza.

At the lunch table.

Me: "I love Home Run Inn Pizza."

6th grader: "It's the best, by far the best pizza ever!"

Me: "All I need is a Home Run Inn Pizza and a good movie. Lock the doors and I'm all set.

6th grader: "Yeah, you know what the best movie is? .... Taken. He is on the phone with his daughter and some guys come in and take her and she is under the bed hiding and she says, 'I think they are gone', they're not! He beats up so many guys."

Me: "but you had a Home Run Inn Pizza, right?!"

6th grader: Yeah, I ate the whole thing....... he kills a guy like every two minutes in the movie."

TV shows..

Me: "What TV shows do you NOT like watching?"

without hesitating

6th grader: "Home Improvement."

other 6th grader: "Yeah, for sure."

carnival game ideas...

Every year our school puts on a carnival to bring in money for different things at the school. We had a big meeting with the students to discuss different game ideas. Here our two suggestions that were given by the same individual. These ideas were not given with explanations, just game titles.

6th grader: "Shark Bowling" and "Thread Tattoos"

what I really want to do...

walking back to the classrooms after lunch.

Me: "So what do you want to do now?"

6th grader: "What I really want to do is go home and download 20,000 Pitbull songs."

love lost

6th Grader at lunch:

"My boyfriend, who I've had since I was two, just broke up with me."

.Introduction.

Throughout my work day I get to overhear some of the most interesting, unique, and craziest interactions between kids. Here are the things I hear in the hallway....