Thursday, February 24, 2011

.fancy name.

Kindergarten class
I am playing guitar and asking students what their names

Me: "What is your name?"

Kindergartner: "Sophia" (while running away) "IT IS A FANCY NAME!"

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

.name that hit.

Teacher: "Are you humming Katy Perry?!"

6th grader: (frustrated) "No!..... Nirvana."

Me: "What song?"

6th grader: "Smells Like Teen Spirit"

.death of a legend.

on a school bus

Teacher: "Please, sit forward so you don't die."

8th grader: "That isn't how Jimi Hendrix died!"

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

.only in dreams.

Lunch Table

This all happened within a 45 second span of time.

6th grader 1: "I had a dream that I was fighting an army. An army from a long time ago and I was in a car that had a machine gun on the side."

6th grader 2: "I had a dream that Justin Bieber was naked and trying to break down my front door."

6th grader 3: "I had a dream that I was a space ship captain and I was locked out of the space ship. No one inside would let me in. I was on the outside saying, "LET ME IN, I'M THE SPACE CAPTAIN OF SPACE!"

6th grader 1: "Mr. K, would you rather get shot in the hair or punched in the hair?"

Me: "Punched."

Monday, February 21, 2011

.steam boat willy.

Middle School Computer Lab

6th graders are working on their personal websites.

6th grader to lab teacher: "I promise I won't go overboard with the animations."

Me: "Yeah, that is what Walt Disney said, now look at him...."

Friday, February 11, 2011

.young people today.

6th grader reading valentines made by 2nd graders that were posted on the hallway wall

6th grader: "These kids can spell 'we', but not 'favorite'! (disgusted) technology has ruined youth today."

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

.last meal.

Lunch Table

6th grader: (to entire table) "There is a law, well, some weird law that says that the jail has to be able to give you whatever you want for your last meal if you are given the death penalty. On your last night of living you are suppose to eat whatever you want, and if they can't get the food you want, you don't have to die. This one time a guy asked for unicorn eggs and pixie dust. He didn't have to die. This is true, I swear to you I saw it somewhere."

.bribery please.

Lunch Table

6th grader: (to the entire table) "Guys, if you were sued for murder would you bribe the judge to let you free?"

Monday, February 7, 2011

.would you rather.

lunch table

6th grader: "Would you rather: Would you rather have a little ball that weighs two pounds to you, but 12 tons to everyone else? OR Be able to teleport three feet in any direction?"