Monday, November 22, 2010

.eating time.

Middle School Computer Lab

Teacher: "Why aren't you eating lunch? I'm concerned about how fast and how much you are eating?"

7th grader: "I already ate. I had a cupcake."

Teacher: "That is what I am talking about. That is not enough."

7th grader: "It was a really big cupcake!!"

.game time.

Outside after Lunch

2nd grader 1: "Let's play another type of hiding game."

2nd grader 2: "Okay, but if it doesn't go well than this will be the last game I play."

Thursday, November 18, 2010

.thar she blows!.

Middle School Computer Lab

Me: "You know the feeling you get the day before you get sick. I am feeling that. Super achy, like a pirate at sea."

8th grader (looking at his computer screen): "I know exactly what you mean."

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

.earth layers.

Lunch Table full of 6th graders eating outside on a chilly November day

6th grader: "How many coats would it take to recreate the earth's core?"

Me: "Probably about four million."

6th grader: "Whoa!"

Me: "Yeah, but imagine how big that last coat would have to be!"

Everyone giggles while putting some sort of pudding product in their mouth.

.layer up dude.

Lunch Table

6th grader to me: "Can I borrow one of your coats?"

Me: "What?"

6th grader: "Can I borrow one of your six coats?"

Me: "I have four layers on, dude."

6th grader: "Can I borrow one?! You got enough!"

Friday, November 12, 2010

.reach for that food.

12:35 pm

6th grader (to me): "Do you have dentures."

Me: "I do not. Do you?"

6th grader: "No, but I wish I did. It would be cool to take my teeth out!"

Me: "Why is that?"

6th grader: "So I can eat food that is far away."

.job title.

12:35 pm

Me: "What do your parents do?"

6th grader: "Well, my Dad is a banker and my Mom is a robber."

Me: "How does that work?"

6th grader: "It does."

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

.grow on.

Study Hall
2:40 pm

6th grader: "Mr. K, can you grow your beard out long?"

Me: "I am growing it out this month, actually."

6th grader: "No, like Z.Z. Top, and gel it into your hair!"

.bucket list.

Lunch Room
12:50 pm

Freshman: "You know what I think is on every guy's bucket list?"

Me: "What?"

Freshman: "These three things."

Me: "Okay."

Freshman: "1. Blackmail a rich person. 2. Plan a heist 3. Go to the moon."

Me: "I am adding all three of those to mine today."

Monday, November 8, 2010

.dream cake.

Middle School Computer Lab before class starts

Me: "What is your dream birthday cake?"

7th grader: "Six-feet tall, chocolate frosting, and it is a real bike."

.the wind up and the delivery.

Middle School Computer Lab before class starts

Me: "Quick, name three types of pitches!"

7th grader: "A curveball, a fastball, and a strike."

Me: "Yup!"

.email the big man.

Middle School Computer Lab

Me: "Guys, there is a website that lets you email Santa."

7th grader: "I'm going to email him and tell him I'm Jewish. What is the address?"

Friday, November 5, 2010

.so young for your height.

In the library researching Ancient China.

6th grader to me: "How tall are you?"

Me: "Six foot seven or so..."

6th grader: "And you're only 26!!"

other 6th grader: "Are you still growing?"

Me: "I hope not.."

6th grader: "I hope so, that would be awesome if you were eight feet tall and you were like (monster voice) 'I am going to destroy you!' "

.look alike.

In library doing research on Ancient China

6th grader to me: "Have I ever told you that you look like George Clooney?"

Me: "No, you haven't."

6th grader: "Well, you don't, but you aren't mean like him."