this is not show time!

Lunch Room - 4th grade lunch

girl table starts singing 'Bad Romance' by Lady Gaga

4th grade girls: "Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah, Roma-roma-mamaa"

4th grade teacher: (stands up from lunch table) "NO, WE ARE DONE. WE ARE LEAVING. LINE UP AGAINST THE WALL!"

4th grade boys table: "Boooooooo!"

this soda is gross

8:15 am 6th grade locker hallway

6th grader: "Mr. K, this is the grossest soda ever!" (shows me an empty two liter bottle of Diet Dr. Pepper Cherry)

Me: "Uggghhh, that is no good!"

other 6th grader passing by: (yelling) "Too Much Cherry!!"

end of the world

Lunch Table

6th grader: "Do you think that it is possible that a hobo can come to earth on a meteor and blow it up using a detonator?"

Me: "Yes."

6th grader: "Good."

6th grader: "Do you think that it is possible that vampire bunnies can destroy the earth by planting weather machines, or as we call them 'sprinklers', into the ground and detonate them to blow up the earth?"

Me: "Yes."

6th grader: (evil laugh) "Ha Ha. Good."

see me after class

This quote comes from Mr. Hudetz (computer lab)

Lunch Table

Mr. Hudetz: (jokingly) "You're in trouble, you have to stay after school today."

6th grader: "You better be careful, my brother has a broomstick!"

lost and found

6th grade hallway

6th grader: "If you see a leprechaun in the hall, can you return to me? Thank you."

it is going down...

Lunch Table

6th grader: "We were playing in this hockey tournament and the other team had this guy, (fully extends his arm towards the ceiling) this big, I mean a real big guy with long hair. He was acting like an idiot in the crease, slashing everyone. I told him to stop and he was like, 'oh, you think you're so cool.' I was like 'whatever'. And he said, 'oh, you think you're so cool'. And then I said, 'lose five pounds then we'll talk.'"

the question

Hallway

6th grader 1 : "Aren't you in love with him? I mean I mean really like like him? You don't have to answer that."

6th grader 2: "What?

6th grader 1: "Oh.... You Just Answered!" (snickering)

6th grader 2: "Shut your face!!" (walking away with a handful of books and two trapperkeepers"

hey, mr. dj.....

Lunch table

6th grader: "I DJ'd this block party for twelve hours and got paid three dollars. And they were like, 'uh....you suck'. And it wasn't even a party, they had chicken fingers and soda. I said, 'Is this even a party?!' and they said, 'yeah'. and I said, 'ok'.

birthday

Me: "Any birthday plans?"

6th grader: "No.....oh, wait. Beef Tenderloin and Cake!"

the doctor is in...

6th Grade Locker Hallway

6th grader 1: "I feel like a dermotologist."

6th grader 2: "Why?"

6th grader 1: "I got a rash!"

plot lines...

Lunch Table

Me: "What are some other funny movies you guys like?"

6th grader: "I love Planes, Trains, and Automobiles!"

Me: "What is that one about?"

6th grader: "I don't know for sure, but it is about these two guys that hide in cars..... I think."

full moon out tonight...

High School Hallway. After a two week winter break some students came back with grown out facial hair.

10th grade girl: "what do you think of his beard?"

10th grader boy: "he looks like a half-ass werewolf."

that is one big dude....

6th grader to me: "Please don't step on me lumberjack!"

tan on...

6th grade hallway, the day after coming back from winter break

(getting defensive after being accused of going to a tanning salon over break as to the reason why he came back tan)

6th grader: "I don't go to the tanning salon, I go to Mexico."

first day back from break...

I grew my beard out over winter break (which was 2 weeks long)

6th grader (after the entire day of telling me what I looked like with a beard): "So, now you look like Big Foot, Santa Claus, Paul Bunyon, and a Caveman."