what would you do...

6th grader: "If I were principal for a day, I would make everyone give me $5 a piece."

Me: "That sounds unfair"

6th grader: "Yeah, but I would be rolling!"

Amelia Bedelia you are an Idiot

8:15a Friday before Valentine's Day

(eating candy in homeroom)

Me: "Do you remember Amelia Bedelia?"

6th grader: "Oh, my gosh. She is so stupid! They say, 'hit the road', she gets a stick and hits the road. They say, 'french toast' and she puts the France flag in toast. They say, 'hot dog' and she gets a dog that is hot. She is an IDIOT!"

Me: "Tell me about it."

relaxing lunch

Lunchroom

6th grader: "Mr. K, can you watch my cake. I don't want anyone eating it.....I want to eat my lunch leisurely."

Me: "Sure"

secret. secret.

Lunch Table

6th grader: "Hey, you want my cookies?"

Other 6th grader: "Sure, thanks!"

6th grader: (turns to me and whispers) "Mr. K, don't tell anyone, but I farted on those."

dessert tray

Lunch Table

6th grader: "Once we were at this restaurant in Austria.......I mean Indiana and they brought out this dessert tray that had legitimately 8 pounds of cheese on it. I ate so much. The next day, I had to go to the bathroom so bad, but I couldn't go. I was constipated. My Mom went got laxatives....I took five. That night as I was getting into our mini-van, I pooped myself (starts laughing). It was crazy!"

popularity contest

6th grader: "Their definition of popularity is a lot different than mine. If you are liked by one person, you are popular."

legitimate restaurant

Lunch Table

6th grader: "Mr. K, oh my gosh! We (hockey team) and I ate this restaurant in Indiana called..... I kid you not, it was legitimately called, 'The Corny Log' "

(starts laughing)

"And they couldn't understand why we were laughing at the name. Everything on the menu started with 'Corny' or ended with 'Log'. Like, 'The Corny Hoagie' "

Me: "Why is that funny, is it because it sounds very similar to a 'toasty torpedo?!' " (callback to previous post)

(6th grader tilts head back and starts laughing)

tuesday tacos

6th grader: "I asked my Grandpa to get me tuesday tacos at Chipotle. When he came back he said, 'there were no tuesday tacos at Chipotle, because it is Sunday.' I said, 'No. I said TWO STEAK TACOS.'"