shop class

Hallway

6th grader: "I told my sister I was in shop class and she asked me, 'what did you buy today?'"

school appropriate

High School hallway

9th grader: "SSShhhhh... (looks and sees me walking towards him and changes his decision to swear) hhhhhhaaammmmwwooowww. Ah, Shamwow!"

italian vacation

Lunchroom

6th grader 1: "We are going to Italy this summer!!"

6th grader 2: "See Venice before it sinks."

prom date

Upper School Hallway

girl: "You can't wear a green and gold tuxedo to Prom!"

guy: "Watch me!"

girl: "She won't want to go with you."

guy: "She will be lucky to go with me!!"

peeps

Lunchroom

6th grader just finished eating an entire six-pack of Peeps, which he put into the microwave for 40 seconds.

Me: "Did you bring those from home?"

6th grader: "Yeah"

(turns to entire class)

"Who wants a giant Peep?!"

40 students descend on the student

6th grader: "Wait, I was kidding!! Mr. K!!"

new phone

hallway 8:10 am

Me: "Is that a new phone?"

6th grader: "Yeah, it is real cool, look! It flips open and it flips up so you can text faster!!"

Me: "That is rad!"

6th grader: "Oh, Yeah! There are a few levels of the phone, so it can move like that. I don't know the terms, but it is testicle."

Me: "Yeah, that sounds technical."

(I walk away grinning)

WTF?!

hallway 10:45 am

6th grader: "WTF?!"

Me: "Easy with the language."

6th grader: "I'm asking, 'Where The Fries?!'"

Me: "Save it for the lunchroom."

shave....

Lunchroom

6th grader to me: "QUIT SHAVING, YOU'RE PISSING ME OFF."

intruder...

1st Grade Hallway

a line of fifteen 1st graders pass by me.

1st grader: "Who are you?!" (five others) "Yeah, who are you?!!"

Me: "A teacher."

1st grader: "Here?!"

Me: "Yes."

(last 1st grader in line, tilting his head back at an extreme angle): "Whoa!!!!!"

lost

8:15 am

6th grader: "I woke up early and went downstairs to eat breakfast. My parents went into my room to wake me up and they couldn't find me. They yelled my name and I said, 'I'm down here eating breakfast alone.' They lost me in their own house!!"

sade love

Homeroom

6th grader: "Have you heard of Sade?"

Me: "Oh, yeah! I am a fan."

6th grader: "She is scary, she sings 'Soldier of Love' and sounds like a man!"

best seat in the house....

6th grader: "I was at the hockey game and we had horrible seats. We had to look DOWN at the Jumbotron!!"

spicy sauce...

Lunch Line

Lunch Man: "What kind of sauce do you want?"

3rd grader: "I'll have Barfeque."

(looks at his friend, they both giggle)

Me: "Oooohhh, that sounds spicy!"

3rd grader: "No, its barfy!!"

be prepared...

Middle School Computer Lab

(working on a project collecting statistics on countries of the World)

6th grader: "I think we are done with this part of the project."

Me: "Well, lets fill it in a little more information. It is better to have too much, than too little."

6th grader: (sincerely) "Yeah, like packing clothes for a vacation."

Me: (wide smirk): "Exactly, like packing clothes for a vacation."

6th grader: "Yeah, I hate buying clothes on vacation. But, it is fun shopping when you are back from vacation."

Sidney Crosby is nothing special

8:15 am - Homeroom

Me: "That game last night was exciting. Sidney Crosby is really talented, right?!"

6th grader: "He's not a good hockey player, the only thing he can do is dangle!"

Me: "What is a dangle?"

6th grader: (while moving shoulders up and down) "You know, deek......dangle"

honesty is their best policy

8:10 am - Homeroom

(I enter the room to drop some lunchroom surveys off)

6th grader: "You look better with a beard on your face."

Me: "really?!"

(6th grader just nods head)

post beard depression

8:05 am - Hallway

6th grader: "Mr. K, you shaved!

Me: "I did."

6th grader: "Your beard made me feel good about myself. Now my self-esteem is gone."