.height requirement.

2nd grader: (to me) "You are too tall to be a teacher."

Me: "Who says?!"

2nd grader: "Everyone, silly."

.true friend.

walking back from wiffle ball


5th grader 1: "You invited him to your party?!"
5th grader 2: "Yeah, why?"
5th grader 1: "He is weird."
5th grader 2: "That is why I like him!"

.it is just a lake.

Middle School Computer Lab

6th grader: (asking a teacher while pointing at computer screen) "What does this say?"

Teacher: "Come on, you know what that says."

6th grader: "No, I really don't know what it says."

Teacher: "Lake Titicaca."

6th grader: (lets out a nerdy squeal)

Middle School Computer Lab


7th grader to teacher: (arms open wide for a hug) "Hug Dad, I mean Hudetz, my unofficial Dad."

Teacher: "Did you just call me Dad?!"

7th grader: "Unofficial Dad!"

.you weren't alive.

8th grade hallway

a group of 8th graders are crowded around a mini keyboard on the floor.

8th grader 1: "Do you know the Harry Potter Theme?"

8th grader 2: "No, but I know this." (starts playing Beverly Hills Cop Theme)

8th grader 1: "I don't know that one."

8th grader 2: "What about this one?" (starts playing The Final Countdown)

All 8th graders: "YEAH!"

.think twice.

After community service, I accompanied a group of Middle School students to The Wiener Circle.

7th grader takes a bite of a hot dog. The piece of hot dog falls on the floor and is immediately picked up and eaten.


7th grader: (while chewing) "Is this safe to eat?

other 7th grader: "On this floor?! No, way."

7th grader: (looking at me) "What about you Mr. K?"

Me: "Whatever I answer I give you, it is too late."

.according to my calculations.

6th Grade Math Class

I had to borrow a calculator from a teacher. There are no students in the classroom.

Me: (holding calculator) "May I borrow this, I have a student taking a quiz and he needs it. I'll have it back to you in a few minutes."

Teacher: "Oh, not that one! A student came up to me and said that there were boogers in it. I am still trying to figure out who did it."

Me: "Oh, boy."

.winter weight.

6th grade lockers

6th grader 1 to me: "Mr. K, have you noticed how pudgy Dora the Explorer is getting?"

Me: "I think you may be right."

6th grader 2: "Yeah! It is probably because of all the fiestas she is going to."

6th grader 1: "Her cholesterol must be in the 500's."

.salutations.

Homework Club


everyone is leaving for the day.

7th grader: "Later hot potatoe."

Me: "See ya later."

7th grader: "No! Its 'bye cold apple pile'."