.turning 18.

Lunch Table

6th grader: "These are the three things that I want to do when I turn 18:

                             1. (turns to friend) Patent our invention.
                             2. Trademark and Copyright my name.
                             3. If I don't have it already, get my driver's license."

.elementary my dear mustache.

6th grader: "You should grow your mustache real big and find someone with a big coat and you get a pipe so you can say, "Elementary kind sir, elementary."


Me: "I love everything you just said."

6th grader: (looking off into space) "Elementary kind sir, it was elementary."

.the cleanest place.

Lunch Table

Me: "Where did you go over break?"

6th grader: "Disney World."

Me: "What was the most memorable thing about Disney World?"

6th grader: "I saw maybe three trash cans the entire time and it was so clean! I mean really so clean!"

.mustache.

Lunch Table

A 6th grader has a light mustache.

Me: "You have a nice mustache!"

6th grader: "Thanks!"

Me: "Can you do me a favor and come back next year and be a 7th grader with a mustache?!"

6th grader: "If my Mom doesn't shave it, I will!"

Soccer Field

A student runs up to me out of breath.

6th grader: "I farted four times on my way over here. What time is it?"

.spring break.

Lunch Room

Me: "What are your plans for Spring Break?"

6th grader: "I'm going to Costa Rica. My goal is to see some monkeys. Well, that is my goal on every vacation."

.lemon squares.

6th grader 1: "My favorite dessert right now is Lemon Squares."

6th grader 2: "LEMON SQUARES?! Don't they feed those to horses?!"

.rockin valentine.

Valentine from one student to another

6th Grader: "Thank you for bringing me into old rock 'n roll!"

.6th grade Valentine.

Found on a 6th grade valentine

Girl to a Boy:

"Your eyes remind me of two bunnies running through a field."

.just add rain.

6th grader: "If you add rain noises to a sad song, it makes the song a lot more sadder."

.and i'm telling you now.

Lunch Room

2nd Grader: (out of breath) "I just farted and I'm telling you now."

.internet picture posts.

Lunch Room

3rd Grader 1: "I am asking my Mom if I can get Instagram."

3rd Grader 2: (Guffaws) "GOOD LUCK."

.geography. (guest submission)

1st Grader (to Teacher): "Where are you from?"

Teacher: "Finland."

1st Grader: "Oh man, I was SO close!"

Teacher: "Where did you think I was from?"

1st Grader: "I thought you were from Mexico."

.hair cut.

6th grader 1: "You got a haircut!!!"

Me: "I did."

6th grader 1: "You look like Tin Tin!"

Me: "Oh yeah? Thank you."

6th grader 2: "You look like a 1950s cop, but the 'bad cop'."

Me: : "Thank you!"

(This is Tin Tin)

.inside that inside that inside that.

Lunch Room

6th grader walks up with a bag.

Me: "What is in the bag?"

6th grader: "Another bag."

Me: "Oh, like one of those Russian dolls. A bag inside a bag, inside a bag, inside a bag..."

Another 6th grader: (with a mouthful of Rice Krispie Treat) "BAGCEPTION!"

.sweet smell.

Playground

5 year old: "You smell sweet! Why is that?!"

Me: "It is probably my deodorant."

5 year old: "Deodorant? Boys don't wear deodorant!"

Me: "Some do."

5 year old: (pause) "You right."

.drinkypoo.

lunch room


6th grader (pouring chocolate milk into sprite): (to me) "You want to try some of this?"

Me: "What do you call that?"

6th grader: "A Snow Goblin."

(he drank the whole thing)

.tools of the trade.

Computer Lab

6th grader 1: "You are our only hope, can you fix our computer? It is frozen on a page.

6th grader 2: "Yeah, sure! I will need a brass hammer and a meat cleaver."

6th grader 1: ...............

.robocop.

5 year old walks up to me with sweatpants, t-shirt, and a police hat on.

Me to a 5 year old: "What are you suppose to be?"

5 year old: "A robot."

.33.

Me (to a group of students): "Have you guys hit the age where you don't go trick or treating?"

Everyone: "No!"

6th grader: "You don't stop trick or treating until you are 33."

Me: "What happens when you turn 33?"

6th grader: "That is when you go as a 'sexy lion'."